| A 911 Diary: Day One In Memoriam...and Renewal |
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9/11 late afternoon: the call: as a member of the fema emergency response team, i was called by fema this morning to go down first when it was still thought to be a plane crash, and then quickly, as it was recognized as a terrorist attack, to do counseling with the rescue workers and survivors, and eventually, the families. only emergency vehicles (including the van they sent for me and another team member from westchester) were allowed through. as we approached the site and were watching the huge columns of smoke, suddenly there was a series of explosions and a tremendous wave upon wave of dust and debris as a tower collapsed. when we arrived, although we were kept back for a while, i could see that survivors and rescue workers who had gotten out and were involved in triage were now crushed, injured and killed by the collapse. there are no words to describe the scene; images of hell can only come close. so far, hundreds of police and firefighters are unaccounted for and feared dead; the chief police surgeon of ny is in critical condition. so many trying to help in the aftermath of the first crash were caught when the second plane attacked. footage of people leaping 80 stories to escape flames. a lone firefighter, having lost his whole contingent, begging a reporter to get word to his wife that he was alive. although they originally wanted me to set up a station for the rescuers to come to me to talk, it was clear to me that these firefighters and police officers are not going to take time away from their despearate efforts to "talk about their feelings" for goodness sakes; these tough men and women aren't known for doing that even under 'normal' circumstances. so i just hung around by the coffee urns, etc. and waited til someone would take a short break and start just casually speaking with them. unfortunately, i fear that we are just beginning a tragic chapter that we can only imagine. unfolding tragedies continue. this is the worst thing i have ever seen, but i'm so grateful that there's something i can do. when i gave blood, as a member of the rare blood registry, they were turning others away who had more common blood types as they can't store more than 3 days worth...they'll need people three days from now to replenish the supply. we still have only cbs. of the major networks on the air. channel 2 has just said they have lost staffers at the WTC, and then showed footage of the rejoicing arabs celebrating on the west bank--- little children joyfully chortling about thousands of innocent people killed for nothing. nbc, abc, fox, all still off the air; who knows for how long. some loved ones are still not home, but fine. family and friends who are police officers from here in the suburbs are down in the city now, helping out, and unreachable. i worry what they will see; i can't even talk about what i'm seeing now. rescue workers cannot get into some of the collapsed buildings because they are still unstable, and there are still hot spots; they are frustrated knowing there are people trapped, possibly alive. aside from the daunting fact of 50,000 workers present in the wtc at the time, the loss of the two majestic towers is poignant; it's changed our famous skyline for ever. a third wtc building just collapsed late this afternoon (it wasn't hit but had been burning), and that may not be the end; a fourth is on the verge of collapse. the mayor has closed the entire lower part of the city for tomorrow, to assess potential instabilities from shock and to prevent interference with rescue and cleanup, and has strongly encouraged people all over the city to stay home. schools closed, bridges and tunnels mostly closed (only our emergency vehicles on the road). dramatic footage of people shortly after the attacks crossing the bridges on foot in droves, soot- covered and dazed, just trying to get home. whole streets full of burned out cars, burnt out rubble, people crying....like pictures i've seen from wartime. and one picture i remember---a car covered in soot and grime, in which someone had written "they can't bring new york down." |
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