| A 911 Diary: Day Three In Memoriam...and Renewal |
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9/13 a.m.: balance?: i must say that working so hard yesterday was actually selfish---DOING something instead of helplessly watching television in horror actually was therapeutic for me, and i suspect for most of the rescue workers down there. yes, it was traumatic, and while counseling others, i made absolutely sure to take periodic breaks to center myself and recharge my own batteries, so to speak. i think it's so important in times of stress that we keep a balance: between dark and light, the now and the future (what is and what we hope), work and rest, action and reflection, anger and understanding. all day yesterday at the sites, i made sure to take breaks to go off and recharge my batteries, and encouraged the rescue workers to do the same. when i came back last evening, covered in dust and smelling of death and sweat, i was handed a very special sonogram of an 11 week fetus named nicky snug in his mom's womb and laughed with delight. nice note and counterpoint to the death and destruction. i suspect today will be almost worse---the initial numbness is wearing off and i believe that today the body (and body parts) recovery will escalate. yesterday, there was a lot of hope that survivors would be found in pockets of space in the debris; today the hope is fading; every orange body bag brought out yesterday was like a fresh blow. no survivors recovered for the last 24 hours. the mayor of new york has requested 6000 body bags from the federal government and the story this morning is that 5000 more may be needed. while i appreciate information, it is news speculation like that i could do without. my long distance service is out and will be for days; prodigy access remains very erratic. it's frustrating to have gotten so many calls on my voice mail yesterday from long distance friends and not be able to reach them---pay phones have long lines and sporadic service. most schools are opening today; some bridges and tunnels are opening but with intense security checks. the entire area south of 14th street however is closed and will be for a while...schools, businesses, roads, tunnels. neighboring buildings remain evacuated as many sustained damage from the shock waves when the towers collapsed. the fire department particularly remains in shock and grief, with top 'superchiefs' dead and at least 200 firefighters dead or missing, as are 100 police officers. and new yorkers whose loved ones are missing are beginning to accept the worst, while still holding on to hope for the best. 9/13 p.m.: what you can do: some of you know that my spiritual tradition says that whatever you send out comes back to you three fold. this is from an email i just received that reflects those beliefs. not the most eloquent writing i've seen, but an important message, i think: What can you do TODAY...this very moment? A central teaching in most spiritual traditions is: What you wish to experience, provide for another. Look to see, now, what it is you wish to experience-in your own life, and in the world. Then see if there is another for whom you may be the source of that. If you wish to experience peace, provide peace for another. If you wish to know that you are safe, cause another to know that they are safe. If you wish to better understand seemingly incomprehensible things, help another to better understand. If you wish to heal your own sadness or anger, seek to heal the sadness or anger of another. Those others are waiting for you now. They are looking to you for guidance, for help, for courage, for strength, for understanding, and for assurance at this hour. Most of all, they are looking to you for love. |
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